Sermon delivered Sunday, July 19, 2015 (8th Sunday After Pentecost, Proper 11, Year B), at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Franklin, TN.
(Mark 6:30-34, 53-56)
"Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while."
This is what Jesus says to the disciples in today’s Gospel reading. As Jesus’s reputation had grown, their ministry had gotten overwhelming. More and more people were seeking Jesus out, for spiritual advice, for healing, and probably many were coming just to gawk at this miracle-worker. The scriptures tell us that “many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.”
I’m sure many of you know that feeling. That feeling of pressure, anxiety – of suffocation, almost – when you realize that you have more to do than can possibly be done. When you’re cranky and irritable and your stomach growls and suddenly you realize you’ve been working so hard you forgot to eat lunch. I know I’ve been there. It’s one of the reasons my husband always reminds me, particularly on Sundays, not to forget to schedule time to eat!
As 21st century American churchgoers, we have two strikes against us when it comes to avoiding that frenzied feeling. The first is our secular work culture, which values productivity above all else, where our worth is measured by how much we can get done, how much money we can make, how many reports we can process in an hour. If that wasn’t bad enough, those of us who seek to be good Christians have the added pressure of a church culture that teaches us that we should always put others before ourselves, that holds up an ideal of “selflessness” and often denigrates any focus on oneself as “selfish” and somehow inherently sinful. This double-whammy of pressure makes it very difficult for most of us to attend to our own needs. Not only should we be accomplishing as much as possible in our work and our ministries, but we shouldn’t give much thought or attention to ourselves, because God has told us not to. I’m sure many of you are familiar with scripture passages like these:
From Philippians chapter 2: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
Or this one, from 1 Corinthians, chapter 1: “Do not seek your own advantage, but that of others.” (1 Corinthians 1:24)
Or the words of Jesus in the Gospels, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)
In looking up some of these passages online, I found many articles from Christian websites advocating for just the kind of self-denigration I’m speaking of here. One article unequivocally stated, “Self-centeredness and self-love are totally antithetical to the teachings of Scripture.”
Certainly, following Jesus requires a kind of “dying to self,” as the biblical metaphor puts it, a relinquishing of control and the sinful desires that drive us to seek our own gain at the expense of others. But is self-love the same thing as self-centeredness? Unfortunately, the church has all too often assumed that it is, and this has led us to a church culture in which we are not expected to take care of ourselves, in which it is more highly valued for us to sacrifice our very well-being – emotionally, physically, and spiritually – in our desire to serve others than it is to tend to our own health. This overemphasis on serving others, coupled with the Christian metaphors about sacrifice and dying to self, have led to a religious context in which the goal is the flourishing of others at the expense of self, rather than the flourishing of all people, including ourselves.
But I do not believe Jesus ever taught that our call to care for others meant that we should neglect to care for ourselves. This passage from Mark’s Gospel is just one of many places where Jesus encourages the disciples to “come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while,” and perhaps an even stronger testimony to his endorsement of self-care is that he modeled this behavior himself. The scriptures tell us that Jesus “often withdrew to deserted places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).
Both Jesus’s instruction to the disciples to find quiet time alone for prayer and rest and his own claiming of this time for himself come in the context of overwhelming need. When the crowds are pressing in on him, when everyone is clamoring for his attention, Jesus doesn’t try to solve everyone’s problems or cure everyone’s illnesses. Instead, he takes the time he needs for himself and encourages the disciples to do so as well, despite the endless stream of people seeking them out and waiting for them wherever they go. It is precisely the times when it would have been most difficult for them to take a break that Jesus does so and encourages his disciples to do the same. He doesn’t say, “Well, after all these crowds have dispersed, when we’ve taken care of all their needs, then we can rest and take care of our own.” He doesn’t say this because he knows a fundamental truth of the human experience that is becoming more and more recognized today – that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. That we can only take care of others to the extent that we are able to take care of ourselves. That we only have something to give when we have taken the time to receive, to refresh and renew our own health, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
This is why we are seeing an increasing emphasis in the church on things like silent retreats and sabbaticals. Contrary to the old model of clergy being expected to be available to everyone 24 hours a day, seminaries are now teaching clergy the importance of self-care, and encouraging us to support it among our parishioners as well. We are encouraged to take time for ourselves and to model for you the importance of doing the same in your own lives. So as we all bid farewell to Monna last Sunday as she began her three-month sabbatical, I hope it got you all thinking about the value of rest, retreat, renewal, and reflection in your own lives. The concept of sabbatical time away from work is becoming more popular, not just in academic and church contexts, but across a variety of fields. Many companies now offer employees sabbatical leave time because they realize that their employees are actually MORE productive and have more to give to the company when they take the time to care for themselves than they are when they sacrifice their own health for the sake of their work. The airline industry has reminded us of the essential wisdom of this truth in their safety videos that instruct us to put our own oxygen mask on first before assisting others. This is not a matter of valuing our own lives more highly than others, but a practical matter of survival. If we cannot breathe ourselves, we cannot expect to help others to breathe either.
But there is a flip side to this truth as well. Just as we cannot help others unless we first help ourselves, we also cannot help ourselves unless we also help others as well. It is not a matter of either/or, but a matter of both/and. It is no better to help ourselves at the expense of others than it is to help others at the expense of ourselves. As leaders of movements for human liberation across the globe have noted, our freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of others. We cannot be free while our brothers and sisters are in chains. We cannot truly live while our brothers and sisters are dying. We cannot morally put our own oxygen mask on and then neglect to help others with theirs.
Lilla Watson, a spokewoman for an activist group of Aboriginal people in Australia in the 1970s, once famously said to those seeking to aid her community, “If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” The scriptures put it this way, in 1 Corinthians, chapter 12: “If one member [of the body of Christ] suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26) We are part and parcel of one another in the body of Christ. What we do affects one another, and as such our salvation is always ultimately communal rather than individual in nature. We can’t reach the kingdom of God without being willing to bring all of God’s children along with us.
Nashville singer-songwriter Tom Kimmel co-wrote a song with Danish songwriter Klaus Caprani that captures this truth. The title of the song is, “No One Gets to Heaven (If Anybody Else is Left Behind),” and it goes like this:
“Last night I dreamed my daddy woke me up and took me by the hand
And walked me down the hill and through the woods to where a little chapel stands
And everyone we knew was there, and they all seemed so happy we came by
The deacon shook our hands and then he led us to our seat beside the aisle
The preacher started talkin’ and everybody leaned in close
He said there is a light in the dark when we need it the most
And there is a way through this world if we keep this in mind:
No one gets to heaven if anybody else is left behind.
No one gets to heaven if anyone is lost along the way
And it’s so easy to doubt it, so now let us join hands and pray
We’ll meet on that beautiful shore in the sweet by and by
And no one gets to heaven if anybody else is left behind.”
Our liberation is bound up with others’ liberation. It is important to remember this precisely during those times when we want to focus solely on ourselves. Sometimes when we are awakened to our need to care for ourselves, we can be tempted to walk away from all other commitments and focus only on ourselves. When things get difficult, we think, “I just can’t handle this anymore; I’ve got to take care of myself.” Although that certainly may be true for a time, and given how serious the imbalance of focusing on others verses yourself has been, you may need a considerable amount of time to focus only on yourself. But even in those times, it’s important to remember that in order to be true to the Gospel and our calling as Christians, we must at some point return to the service of others, using the care and love that has healed us to heal others. Because our healing is bound up with others’ healing. Our liberation is bound up with others’ liberation. No one gets to heaven if anybody else is left behind.
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Martha's problem was not her actions, but her attitude
Sermon delivered Sunday, July 21, 2013 (9 Pentecost, Year C, Proper 11), at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Franklin, TN (Luke 10:38-42.
In today’s Gospel from Luke, we hear the familiar story of Mary and Martha. This passage is a favorite for use in women’s Sunday School classes or women’s retreats, where women are often asked, “Are you ‘a Martha’ or ‘a Mary’?”– which is just church code language for asking whether you are a “Type A” personality, organized and task-oriented, or a “Type B” personality, more carefree and process-oriented.
In an attempt to soften the edge for poor Martha, who often gets a bad rep as the uptight taskmaster, the leaders or facilitators will sometimes reassure those of us who identify with Martha that being “a Martha” is not a bad thing, that Mary and Martha were both devoted followers of our Lord; they just had different ways of showing their devotion. Martha showed her devotion by taking care of the details and preparing the house, while Mary showed her devotion by sitting with Jesus and listening to his teachings. The assumption is generally that both ways of showing devotion are equally valid, just different – so that those of us who identify with Martha don’t wind up feeling “less than” our friends who are more contemplative like Mary.
But if we look closely at the text, Jesus actually does issue a value judgment about Mary and Martha’s behavior and motivations. Nowhere in the passage does Jesus say that both Mary and Martha’s ways of being are equally valid. Instead, Jesus says that “Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:42).
Now, in Martha’s defense, she was probably doing all the appropriate things a woman would be supposed to do in that culture to prepare for a house guest – preparing a meal, washing the guest’s feet, offering the guest a place to stay. There was a lot of work to be done to offer proper hospitality to a guest, and Martha was the kind of woman who was going to make sure everything was taken care of, and done well. This in and of itself is not a bad thing – and Jesus does not chastise her for her attention to detail or her desire to provide appropriate hospitality to a guest. Instead, he critiques her because she is “worried and distracted by many things.” The problem is not with her actions, but with her mindset.
The “better part” that her sister Mary has chosen is to sit at Jesus’s feet and listen to his teachings – which was the position of a disciple. For this moment, at least, Mary has remembered her identity as a beloved child of God and a disciple of Christ. By contrast, Martha has lost sight of her identity – her mind is on tasks to be done rather than on the joy of being in the presence of her Lord.
We really have no way of knowing whether Mary was really a “Type B” kind of person, always laid back and happy to sit in blissful meditation all day long, or whether she could be just as task-oriented and organized as Martha at times. And we don’t know for sure that Martha didn’t know how to stop doing and just be. Maybe she was just as capable of sitting still as Mary was. But the point is that whatever their usual habits or personality types, in this particular moment, Mary is in a better “head space” than her sister Martha. She is able to be truly present with Jesus during his visit, something that Martha cannot do because of her many worries and distractions. Mary has not lost sight of the forest for the trees, so to speak. She has not gotten so caught up in preparing for Jesus’s visit that she forgets to actually enjoy his visit.
How many of us have been there – so caught up in the details of what needs to be done to prepare for a big event that we forget that this event was supposed to be an enjoyable and joyous occasion? I’m sure any one of us could share a few stories about that friend who gets so caught up in the details of entertaining that everyone feels like they’re on pins and needles at her parties because her stress levels are so high – or an uncle who was so obsessed with arranging the details of where everyone was going to stay at the family reunion that he ruined the event for everyone – or the boss who was so worried about taking care of details for the big corporate event that he didn’t seem to enjoy the event at all.
While it is true that each of us have a little of both “Martha” and “Mary” in us, it is also true that their behaviors in this story do represent distinctive personality types. Some of us are more prone than others to “worried and distracted” behavior. Some of us are more likely to let the details kill the spirit of the event, to get so caught up in the moment that we lose sight of the big picture. If you feel a bit uncomfortable by how much you see yourself in Martha’s behavior in this story, then the lesson in this story is particularly important for you. That lesson is this: the details are important, but they are never more important than the spirit of the task. Things are never more important than people. Expectations, customs, and to-do lists are never more important than relationships.
This is not to say that we should throw out all our to-do lists and go meditate under a tree somewhere and stop working or feeding our children. It is important to “do” things sometimes, and we can show our devotion to God through service. The passage immediately preceding the story of Martha and Mary is the story of the Good Samaritan, which we heard last Sunday – and that is certainly a story that shows the importance of serving others, that teaches us that faith must be rooted in action. If the Good Samaritan had not done something, the injured man’s needs would not have been met. But imagine what the story would be like if the Good Samaritan had helped the man, but while doing so he was irritated and worried because taking the time to help this man was really delaying him from his next appointment, and while he was going with him to the inn, he started yelling at the priests and Levites who passed by, “You call yourselves spiritual leaders? And you’re leaving me to do all the work?” That would certainly change our perception and assessment of the “Good Samaritan,” wouldn’t it?
With Martha, the issue was not her actions, but her attitude. Active, loving service is an important part of a vibrant life of faith. But worries, distractions, and resentment are not. This is why it is so important for those us with strong “Martha tendencies” to remind ourselves that it is precisely in those moments when we feel like we don’t have enough time to enjoy life that it is most important to take time to do so: to take off the apron and sit down in living room to enjoy a drink with your guests, to take a break from the project for work and go out for a hike with your friends or family, to let go of structure and constant words in your prayer life and allow yourself to simply be in God’s presence.
The “better part” that Mary chose was to be attentive to the present moment, to sit at the feet of her Lord and remember her identity as a disciple. If you ever find yourself getting so caught up in a task that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place, or begin to become resentful of those who aren’t doing it, you might think of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, and take a step back and remember who and whose you are. You, like Mary, are a disciple of the Lord, invited to sit and be still at his feet. You are a child of God, a God who loves you and wants to spend time with you just as you are. A God who comes to visit you, just as he came to visit Mary and Martha, and who desires not a household put in perfect order, but an open heart ready to receive him.
In today’s Gospel from Luke, we hear the familiar story of Mary and Martha. This passage is a favorite for use in women’s Sunday School classes or women’s retreats, where women are often asked, “Are you ‘a Martha’ or ‘a Mary’?”– which is just church code language for asking whether you are a “Type A” personality, organized and task-oriented, or a “Type B” personality, more carefree and process-oriented.
In an attempt to soften the edge for poor Martha, who often gets a bad rep as the uptight taskmaster, the leaders or facilitators will sometimes reassure those of us who identify with Martha that being “a Martha” is not a bad thing, that Mary and Martha were both devoted followers of our Lord; they just had different ways of showing their devotion. Martha showed her devotion by taking care of the details and preparing the house, while Mary showed her devotion by sitting with Jesus and listening to his teachings. The assumption is generally that both ways of showing devotion are equally valid, just different – so that those of us who identify with Martha don’t wind up feeling “less than” our friends who are more contemplative like Mary.
But if we look closely at the text, Jesus actually does issue a value judgment about Mary and Martha’s behavior and motivations. Nowhere in the passage does Jesus say that both Mary and Martha’s ways of being are equally valid. Instead, Jesus says that “Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:42).
Now, in Martha’s defense, she was probably doing all the appropriate things a woman would be supposed to do in that culture to prepare for a house guest – preparing a meal, washing the guest’s feet, offering the guest a place to stay. There was a lot of work to be done to offer proper hospitality to a guest, and Martha was the kind of woman who was going to make sure everything was taken care of, and done well. This in and of itself is not a bad thing – and Jesus does not chastise her for her attention to detail or her desire to provide appropriate hospitality to a guest. Instead, he critiques her because she is “worried and distracted by many things.” The problem is not with her actions, but with her mindset.
The “better part” that her sister Mary has chosen is to sit at Jesus’s feet and listen to his teachings – which was the position of a disciple. For this moment, at least, Mary has remembered her identity as a beloved child of God and a disciple of Christ. By contrast, Martha has lost sight of her identity – her mind is on tasks to be done rather than on the joy of being in the presence of her Lord.
We really have no way of knowing whether Mary was really a “Type B” kind of person, always laid back and happy to sit in blissful meditation all day long, or whether she could be just as task-oriented and organized as Martha at times. And we don’t know for sure that Martha didn’t know how to stop doing and just be. Maybe she was just as capable of sitting still as Mary was. But the point is that whatever their usual habits or personality types, in this particular moment, Mary is in a better “head space” than her sister Martha. She is able to be truly present with Jesus during his visit, something that Martha cannot do because of her many worries and distractions. Mary has not lost sight of the forest for the trees, so to speak. She has not gotten so caught up in preparing for Jesus’s visit that she forgets to actually enjoy his visit.
How many of us have been there – so caught up in the details of what needs to be done to prepare for a big event that we forget that this event was supposed to be an enjoyable and joyous occasion? I’m sure any one of us could share a few stories about that friend who gets so caught up in the details of entertaining that everyone feels like they’re on pins and needles at her parties because her stress levels are so high – or an uncle who was so obsessed with arranging the details of where everyone was going to stay at the family reunion that he ruined the event for everyone – or the boss who was so worried about taking care of details for the big corporate event that he didn’t seem to enjoy the event at all.
While it is true that each of us have a little of both “Martha” and “Mary” in us, it is also true that their behaviors in this story do represent distinctive personality types. Some of us are more prone than others to “worried and distracted” behavior. Some of us are more likely to let the details kill the spirit of the event, to get so caught up in the moment that we lose sight of the big picture. If you feel a bit uncomfortable by how much you see yourself in Martha’s behavior in this story, then the lesson in this story is particularly important for you. That lesson is this: the details are important, but they are never more important than the spirit of the task. Things are never more important than people. Expectations, customs, and to-do lists are never more important than relationships.
This is not to say that we should throw out all our to-do lists and go meditate under a tree somewhere and stop working or feeding our children. It is important to “do” things sometimes, and we can show our devotion to God through service. The passage immediately preceding the story of Martha and Mary is the story of the Good Samaritan, which we heard last Sunday – and that is certainly a story that shows the importance of serving others, that teaches us that faith must be rooted in action. If the Good Samaritan had not done something, the injured man’s needs would not have been met. But imagine what the story would be like if the Good Samaritan had helped the man, but while doing so he was irritated and worried because taking the time to help this man was really delaying him from his next appointment, and while he was going with him to the inn, he started yelling at the priests and Levites who passed by, “You call yourselves spiritual leaders? And you’re leaving me to do all the work?” That would certainly change our perception and assessment of the “Good Samaritan,” wouldn’t it?
With Martha, the issue was not her actions, but her attitude. Active, loving service is an important part of a vibrant life of faith. But worries, distractions, and resentment are not. This is why it is so important for those us with strong “Martha tendencies” to remind ourselves that it is precisely in those moments when we feel like we don’t have enough time to enjoy life that it is most important to take time to do so: to take off the apron and sit down in living room to enjoy a drink with your guests, to take a break from the project for work and go out for a hike with your friends or family, to let go of structure and constant words in your prayer life and allow yourself to simply be in God’s presence.
The “better part” that Mary chose was to be attentive to the present moment, to sit at the feet of her Lord and remember her identity as a disciple. If you ever find yourself getting so caught up in a task that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place, or begin to become resentful of those who aren’t doing it, you might think of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, and take a step back and remember who and whose you are. You, like Mary, are a disciple of the Lord, invited to sit and be still at his feet. You are a child of God, a God who loves you and wants to spend time with you just as you are. A God who comes to visit you, just as he came to visit Mary and Martha, and who desires not a household put in perfect order, but an open heart ready to receive him.
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