But all the cool kids are doing it!

Sermon delivered Sunday, June 7, 2015, at The Gathering (alternative Eucharist) at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Franklin, TN. 2 Pentecost, Proper 5, Year B (1 Samuel 8:4-20, Mark 3:20-35)

I’m sure at some point in our lives, most of us have experienced some version of this conversation:

Child: “Hey Mom, this guy Jason invited me to a party this weekend. Can I go?”

Parent: “Um, isn’t Jason the one who has those huge parties at his house when his parents aren’t even home? The ones where the neighbors called the cops last year? I don’t THINK so. Some parents might allow that kind of stuff, but not while you’re under my roof you won’t go to a party like that.”

Child: “But all the cool kids are doing it!”

Parent: “If the cool kids all jumped off a bridge, would you?”

How many of you have ever had a conversation like this, whether you were playing the role of the child or the parent?

Well, in some ways that conversation is what’s going on in our reading from the Hebrew scriptures today. The people of Israel ask Samuel to appoint them a king so they can be like everyone else. “Come on, Samuel, all the cool kids are doing it,” right? You heard the story in the first reading, but here’s a little refresher for you:

Elder 1: “Hey Samuel, you’ve done a pretty good job of leading Israel as prophet and judge, but you’re getting old, and actually, we really kinda question your judgment in appointing your sons as the next judges.”

Elder 2: “Yeah, I mean, we love you and everything, but let’s just say that the apple seems to have fallen pretty far from the tree. Your sons have been engaged in some questionable and corrupt behavior.”

Elder 3: “So we’ve got an idea – why don’t you appoint a king to rule over us? Then we could be like all the other nations!”

Samuel: “Um, I don’t THINK so. There’s a reason God never intended for you to have a king. You’re supposed to be different from all the other nations. God is your king!”

Elders: “But we want to be like everyone else!”

Samuel: “Ok, but if I appoint a king over you, he’s going to take the best of your stuff and send your children to war.”

Elders: “We don’t care! All the cool kids are doing it!”

The biblical stories and Jewish and Christian lore glorify the Israelite monarchy so much that it’s easy to forget that God never intended for Israel to have kings in the first place. The early history of the Israelites in the biblical texts emphasizes quite often that the people did not have a king, by God’s design, because this was to remind them that God was their king. Instead, they were governed by a series of “judges,” who were charismatic leaders raised up by God to deal with issues as they arose among the people and to serve as mediator between God and the people. Their scope of influence was broader than the way we understand the term “judge” in the modern American legal system; these leaders would often also lead the people into battle and work to preserve the physical security of the people as well as mediate disputes. But their power was still much more limited than a king’s would have been.

Israel was governed by a series of judges for about 125 years, from after Joshua conquered the land of Canaan until the establishment of the monarchy that we hear about in today’s reading. When the people of Israel asked for a king, they were asking for a much more structured, centralized form of government, with a large amount of power concentrated in the hands of one person. The reason Samuel was upset that they made this request was not only that they were rejecting one of the things that made them distinctive from the surrounding peoples, but because in doing so, they were also implicitly rejecting God. By asking for a human ruler instead, the people were indicating that God was no longer good enough in God’s governance of them. They thought they had a better idea. And they got that idea from looking around at what everyone else was doing.

We human beings are so susceptible to this, aren’t we? Though much has changed since the time of Samuel and Saul, one thing that hasn’t changed much is human nature, especially this tendency to compare ourselves to others and to want to be like everyone else. Whether it’s adults trying to “keep up with the Joneses” or teenagers wanting to be “like the cool kids,” most of us seem to have an innate desire to belong, to be seen as “one of the group.” It is hard to stand out and be different, and yet that is often what following God requires us to do.

In today’s Gospel reading, Jesus serves as a perfect contrast to the elders in the first reading. Jesus acts in ways that make him stand out as different from those around him, but unlike the elders in our first reading, he is not insecure about this difference. When people start saying he’s crazy and demon-possessed, he doesn’t let this shame him into acting more “normal.” He doesn’t say, “Oh my goodness, people think I’m crazy; I’d better change my behavior so I can fit in and be like the cool kids!” Instead, he defends himself against the accusations of demon-possession and stands firm in his identity. He knows who he is and what he is called to do and he doesn’t let what everyone else thinks about him influence him or affect him.

Not only does he reject society’s pressure to act like everyone else, in this passage he also redefines what it means to belong. When his mother and brother and sisters come looking for him, presumably to try to “restrain him,” as the beginning of the passage tells us, he doesn’t respond to their anxiety or their attempts to control his actions. Instead, he looks around at those gathered with him, those have left everything to follow him, those who are not held captive by a need to do only what is societally acceptable, and says, “Who are my mother and my brothers? Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” He redefines what it means to belong. In the kind of community God wants us to create, we find our sense of belonging not by trying to be like everyone else, or doing what all the cool kids are doing, but by following God.

So now it’s your turn. You all are the sermon illustrations today! I want to know what your experiences are with feeling a need to do what everyone else is doing, and what your experiences are with finding your sense of belonging from following God rather than from trying to be like everyone else.

At this point during the worship service, people were handed a piece of paper with these two questions to respond to. They were given the opportunity to respond by posting on Facebook, writing in a journal, or creating some kind of artistic, visual response, and were invited to bring their responses forward to post on a cork board at the front of the room. If you're reading this sermon online only, you're invited to participate in this process by responding to these questions in the comments section below or on Facebook (if you're reading it there.):

Take a few moments to reflect on a time in your life when you wanted to do something in order to be like someone else. It could be a story from any age or stage in your life. When have you wanted to do something just to “fit in” or because you saw someone else doing it and wanted to be like them? What did you want to do?

Then, reflect on a time in your life when you did what you knew God was calling you to do, even if it made you different from everyone else. Have you experienced what it means to find your sense of belonging by following God’s will rather than by trying to be like everyone else? What did you do? What gave you the strength and courage to do what God was calling you to do?


At the end of the time of response, I concluded the sermon with this:

Thank you all for sharing your stories with us and for being living sermon illustrations today. Take time to stop and look more closely at the board after you come up and receive communion, and go on the St. Paul’s Facebook page later and read others’ stories. As you receive the gift of others stories and responses, “hear what the Spirit is saying to God’s people” through the scriptures and through your own lives.